no post!

Hey guys ill be writting my blogs on papper now....

WORST TWO DAYS IV HAD SO FAR!

Omg.. So this has been the worst two days ever! I'm hating every minute of it!! I feel like nothings going right?Ughh... I'm soo Frustrated! Uhh... So what do you do when nothings going right? When you want too everything too work it doesn't? I'm wanted DEAD OR ALIVE? Sorry just a randomness... haha lol okay Well im still not sure about life... Right now Im so confused!!1

Basketball

So im here with my basketball team! =] its soo much fun! Were eating and laughing playing games! everything just fun! except im in my friends room blogging.. I think im depressed? Im not sure though? Im just kinda sad! =[ For no reason I think its personal reasons but I will blog about those later....?  Well to any one who reads or knows who my First Love thing is about.... I would like it if you keep it on the down- low because yeah everything.. but please please! ok well im done love yu bye!

first RAINBOW LOVE!

I never felt this way about another person before (A GIRL) ? It feels so wrong but SO RIGHT? I fell in love so quick.I fell so hard! I care about this person so much that I cant control myself. I've never loved another girl before... And its hard to explain but this is how it happened...

It all started the day after Christmas. I woke up at the crack of dawn to see my favorite cousin Rissa in my bed... We woke and went to go too my basketball tournament. She watched me as i played and when the game was over we chilled with my basketball team.. One of my teammates (Renee) asked me if my cousin Rissa was Bi/Gay/Lez? I didn’t know what too say so I just gave my cousin Renee’s number. They started to text each other but I began too feel bad... I felt bad because my cousin was trying too play my friend. I knew Renee didn’t deserve too get played so I decided too tell her .. But It was bad.. I told her out of jealousy...I began to fall for Renee. I started to get this funny feeling ... I would get mad when I was with her and she would text my cousin. I was suddenly overwhelmed with jealousy.. I began too like Renee allot! Then the next day was when I fell in LOVE! We went to our friend Pt’s house and slept over. We had so much fun..We played around all day and that night we SLEPT TOGETHER!(Hold on.... not the nasty nasty... Just slept in the same bed..) It felt like I was were I was supposed to be. Like everything was right! We began to text each other 24-7 and at school we would give each other little secret kisses in the halls but, we would have too hide them. Because not very many people knew that Renee was like that. And if her parents ever found out she would be in deep DEEP trouble!. So we kept our feelings and our relationship on the down-low. But that became a problem. I began to feel different. I wanted to hold her and love her but I couldn’t! Only at certain times.... I started to let those feelings get too my head and began to have second thoughts about our relationship. I went to my living diary and told her everything ... She told me not to let those little things get too me and If I really cared for Renee then it wouldn’t matter.

So it doesn't matter ... I’m going to lover her anyways. I realized that it even though I cant show the world my most prized possession... ITS MINE AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!

COMPLETELY FORGOT..

So I completely forgot that I had too blog... I have been thinking about my story and what to write but I completely forgot that it was supposed to be in my blog... Umm.. Iv thought allot about the story and I still don't know what too write? I know what topic to write about but I'm not sure how to start it... I think I'm going too go look at the other peoples okay.. bye! 

2008!

2008 is over!!! This year was interesting .. allot has happened but it was a preatty blah year... There were some high lights but other then those things it was chill... I had a great school year but I cant wait to see what this year has in store for me!! =] Im probally most excited for my new outlook on life! I am going too view life as a gift. Everything is going too happen for a reason and im going to make do with it.. I want to be happy for this year.. I think im going to live life like i died already! =]

Bad year..

So this doesn't feel like Christmas...  I don't even feel like its anything different? Its all the same.. It feels like  any day.. I think this year is my year...? You may be wondering what I mean about that..... Well I mean I think this is the year I officially stop believing in Santa... I'v always believed in Santa but now I think I don't... I'v always known that my parents bought me presents... But I thought that there was a actual Santa in the north poll... But enough with the nonsense.. I don't like x-mass 

I DONT KNOW!

I don't know what to do? I really need help!! My mind is twirling...? I hate life right now!!! Why do guys always gotta hurt you!! Why do they play so manny games... I wish there was a happy ending!

Finals.

I honestly dont like the new School schedual. I hate it ! I would rather have finals after Christmas break!  But uh well just gotta do it! 

boys!

I hate boys ... I want to kill this STUPID GUY! I hate liars!!! uhh.. Mayne ... I want to HURT HIM!! How can he play me for a full..  He lied too me... Then Made me feel like the bad guy!!! Uhh and I bet when I confront him he is going to say.... "I was hurt"!!! uhh...